if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
