Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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