I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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