good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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