Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
