Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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