I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
