Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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