wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just threw up on my dentist
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
