You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
