I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
