her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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