You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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