Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
