i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need moral support for this bender
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
