Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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