you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
