super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
