my mouth tastes like poor choices
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
