You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
