So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
