Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
