did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
