you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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