Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
