Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
