sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
