Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
