I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
