Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
