hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
