i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
