if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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