There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
