Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
