He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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