Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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