before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
