Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
