Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
