I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
