My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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