this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
