Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
