we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I sprained my soul last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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