We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
