If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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