epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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