I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
