I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
