I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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