My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
