I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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