found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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