she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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