girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
