I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
