So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
