I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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