you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
