So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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